So, I haven’t blogged in like, forever! There are numerous reasons for this. I have had the odd personal wobble or two and haven’t really felt very inspired or creative. Without getting too much into it, I have had quite a few mental health issues throughout my life, I have been up and down with depression for as long as I can remember to be honest. I have periods of feeling really happy, positive and creative. I overflow with ideas and positivity and my brain is constantly ticking over. I find joy in very simple pleasures and feel content for a lot of the time. However, I also have periods where I am very, very low. I feel flat, paranoid and anxious and have to force myself to leave the house. I find it difficult to communicate with other people and its just generally not a nice time. I’m in one of my better periods at the moment and I am hoping it will continue for a long while!
Another reason for not blogging is how I have been feeling about myself regarding my appearance. I lost almost 3 stone last year (reaction to a temporary, yet extremely painful, break up). I was the lightest and fittest I had been in a very long time and was much happier with myself. However, with the reconciliation of my relationship and the happiness it brings with it, came the regaining of around 2 stone (I think, it could be more, I’m just guessing really). So I’m not particularly happy with my figure at the moment and didn’t really want to be featuring in any photos I also have an issue with a tooth that is really making me feel awful about how I look. I was disgracefully drunk in 2004 and managed to fall off a wall, cracking the back of my front tooth with my tongue piercing. After various infections and a root canal, it is now dead. And utterly disgusting. I have chickened out of seeing a dentist for so long, but enough is enough. I am at the point where I hate meeting new people and feel permanently concious. It is having a truly negative effect on my life. Therefore, I am now in the process of getting it sorted, my next appointment being on the 13th December. I am so thrilled at the prospect of possibly being able to smile properly in photos in 2014 it is untrue!
I have also been very busy with work and assignments for uni, so I just kind of lost sight for a while.
Anyway, I feel like I have inspiration now and more ideas about where I want to go with the blog. Rather than it just being a fashion blog, I want to be more honest and real. Not that I haven’t been, but I don’t want to portray a picture perfect image of a fabulous life. This is not to say I want to be on here moaning and offloading all the time, but life isn’t perfect and I’ve found that I love the blogs that reflect this. If I wanted to look at model like photos, I’d read a magazine. I want to look at real girls, wearing real fashion, living real life. I want it to be relatable. So anyway, I’m going to be “keeping it real” I guess. I don’t just want to post photos of myself in dresses or talk about handbags. I want to talk about real things too!!
So anyway, here’s to new outlooks and regular blogging!! 🙂